Holes...

To quote Joe Pesci’s character Nicky Santoro in the movie “Casino”…

“A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin' night.”

Unlike Nicky, planning ahead is a concept that seems to be lost on my progeny… a fact that I have become keenly aware of these past few months as my daughters attempt to “Forrest Gump” their way through life.

This lack of forethought and action has spawned all manner of emotions… such as regret for waiting until after the 6 inches of snow has accumulated before you attempt to get your 2 wheel drive mini-van out of your driveway so you can go to the store to buy a snow shovel… or the embarrassment, anxiety and sorrow that is derived from failing to complete the required school assignments and the consequences that their inaction has on a semesters final grade, and the resulting punishment given for those substandard marks… Finally, we have surprise, anger and self-pity… For failing to check fluid levels and preform basic vehicle maintenance and the resulting damage that this neglect causes to your engine and your limited personal finances. In all instances, advice was given prior to the said events, warnings of the consequences for failing to heed said counsel issued… and ignored, and “I told you so’s” distributed.

Unfortunately, their affliction (I believe the medical term is known as “Thick Headedness”) appears to be somewhat genetic. Much like myself when I was their age… My father’s advice almost always feel on deaf ears. I can recall the heated conversations I had with my father when I was a teenager. Many a time I conveyed to my dear old dad how absurd he and his antiquated views on life sounded and how unwelcomed his opinions and advice were.

“You don’t know shit” was my go-to response when he began his incessant rambling about integrity, personal responsibility and pride of a job well done. On occasion I would also use the ever popular “I heard you the first 100 times you gave me this speech”… not out loud, mind you… I happen to enjoy solid food and like my teeth in their natural and unaltered state… but in my head. Inside the steel trap that was my mind...  I really told him what a dumb ass he really was.  

Fortunately for him, over the years I gradually bent him to my will and point of view, until we finally have come to see most things “eye to eye”.  

So I’ll continue to spew my unsolicited sagely advice in the direction of my four daughters, using overtly foreign words like planning, integrity, preparation, effort, commitment, obligation, responsibility, and initiative… receiving in return looks of wonderment and confusion, knowing full well of the tongue lashing I’m getting inside their wise and all-knowing young adult grey matter. After all, what subjects other than lawn care, vehicle maintenance, and electronic gadgetry could a father possibly have any knowledge or experience in?

So remember, the next time advice, solicited or not, is given to you, consider the source. If it’s from someone who has a vested interest in your development as a human being…  then there’s a very good chance that their wisdom was gained from experience... both good and bad.

As for me, I’ll patiently sit here and wait for warmer weather, bluer waters and prepare for the upcoming Zombie apocalypse… So for now, one last word of advice… “You gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk.”

MoFo